The Worst Marriage Advice I’ve Ever Heard

I love attending weddings.

There’s something magical about watching two people commit to forever. I especially love hearing what the couple says about each other and the little pearls of wisdom their friends and family offer about love and marriage.

But somewhere between the speeches and the slow dances, I always find myself thinking deeply.

Wedding

Some advice stays with me. Other times, I hear things that make me freeze mid-bite and think, “Wait, what did they just say?”

So here’s a little list: The worst marriage advice I’ve ever heard. The kind that made me cringe and whisper to myself, “Please don’t listen to this.”

1. “Happy Wife, Happy Life.”

Sounds cute isn’t’ it? until you unpack it. What about the husband? His needs? His emotions?

This kind of advice sets up a dynamic where his job is to keep her happy, and her job is to be happy enough to keep the peace.

And what often happens? Years later: resentment. Disconnection.

A man who feels like his voice never mattered.

2. “Never go to bed angry.”

Honestly? Go to bed angry. Go to bed upset. Sleep in separate rooms if you need to.

What you shouldn’t do is stay up till 2a.m. tearing each other apart just to say you resolved it before sunrise.

Speaking from my own experience, trying to “solve” something in the middle of the night usually made things worse.

We learned that space isn’t silence.Sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do for your relationship is to pause, self-regulate, and come back to the conversation when you’re both ready to truly listen.

3. “Have a child. It will fix your problems.”

This one honestly scares me.

A baby doesn’t fix cracks, it exposes them.If you struggled to communicate before, parenthood won’t magically make it better. In fact, it’ll test every part of your connection.

You’ll be tired. Raw. Vulnerable. Figuring things out on the go.

4. “Just be happy. Enjoy your marriage.”

Sometimes? You won’t be happy.

Sometimes, you’ll want out.

Sometimes, you’ll look at the person you married and think, “I don’t even recognise us anymore.”

Marriage moves in seasons. Some are light and full of joy. Others are heavy and feel like survival mode. What gets you through is not blind positivity, it’s self-awareness.The willingness to work. The courage to face the hard stuff. The humility to go to therapy. To have uncomfortable conversations. To say, “We need help.”

That’s not failure. That’s love, doing the real work.

If you’re married, thinking about marriage, or healing from one, just know this:

You don’t need to follow advice that doesn’t sit right with your soul. And always, always, trust your inner wisdom more than someone else’s speech at a wedding.